Control

The Chair of the Science Department at my school said the other day, "Maybe it's the microbiologist in me, but...if we make one mistake here, hopefully nobody dies!"

The private school where I'm the librarian is opening in a few days. We're going to be on campus with over 500 students, faculty and staff at the same time. Yes, there have been extensive preparations. Yes, the public schools can't safely do what we're claiming that we can do. Yes, we're being provided shields (so they say, but I haven't gotten mine yet), there's hand sanitizer around every corner, cohorts will be cohorting on their own all day. But I'm a Specialist and I'm going to be visiting over 100 different kids every day. People are being asked not to travel by air.

I've operated all summer under the naive notion that because I know the small group of people I've been hanging out with well and I know what they've been up to, it's been okay. I've been safe. My kids have been safe.

Now I open up that control, have to let it go and ask myself if I really think I have control over anything?

I can't help thinking, when people say, "Eh! We'll be online in a week anyway, it's all good!"

But why say that with a wink and a smile (which is so often the tone)? That will mean that someone is sick with a virus for which there is NO cure or vaccine. That someone could be a child. My child. Me. Anyone. Will we wink and smile if someone dies? Will opening the school have been worth it then?

All I know is that this is a perfect time for recording stories and writing down everything that's happening. I hope people are doing that. I am.

There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories. 

- Ursula K. LeGuin