Jen Nails It

The Chair of the Science Department at my school said the other day, "Maybe it's the microbiologist in me, but...if we make one mistake here, hopefully nobody dies!" The private school where I'm the librarian is opening in a few days. We're going to be on campus with over 500 students, faculty and staff at the same time. Yes, there have been extensive preparations. Yes, the public schools can't safely do what we're claiming that we can do. Yes, we're being provided shields (so they say, but I haven't gotten mine yet), there's hand sanitizer around every corner, cohorts will be cohorting on their own all day. But I'm a Specialist and I'm going to be visiting over 100 different kids every day. People are being asked not to travel by air. I've operated all summer under the naive notion that because I know the small group of people I've been hanging out with well and I know what they've been up to, it's been okay. I've b...

As expected, it's been a while since I wrote here. Just wanting to add right now that I am having that awful feeling that "nothing terrible has happened to me or loved ones personally, so I am complacent and lulled into a false sense that nothing is GOING to happen to me or loved ones."  Limbo. We keep swimming in the above ground pool (second time we've filled it after it sprang two leaks) and cooking and camping and playing games and making collages. And trying to stay positive and remembering that societies have survived illness and civil unrest and lived to talk about it and pass on the stories so people in the future would be better prepared and equipped and more tolerant and compassionate.

The other night, my younger son was saying how he fell asleep really fast after watching Star Wars, A New Hope, because he was so tired, and that "the next time he opened his eyes," it was morning. And I was trying to remember a night where I fell asleep and then didn't wake up ONCE during the night. I couldn't remember the last time that happened. Maybe it's when you have kids that that stops. Or maybe it's when you're a kid yourself, if you live in constant fear of something in your life. I showed my sons the George Floyd video yesterday for lots of reasons: 1. I couldn't stop thinking about it and didn't feel like acting jolly around them. 2. I felt like they are old enough at least to begin to understand that it was WRONG. 3. I wanted to talk about it with them. 4. I wanted them to start to understand that being Black in our country is VERY different from being white.  5. I wanted them to understand that in some neighborhoods here in Las Vegas ...

every morning is  another chance last night was last night it's right now time there's pollen now some of it smells like rough perfume there's the sound of the fountain relentless cleansing there's breeze  lazy, swaying branches pine needles shimmying  stillness and lonely-blanket quiet when the boys are gone there's love and potential and growth and understanding there's  LIFE still this morning there's another chance to take four steps back and just hold your heart and let out a breath and say THANK YOU

I just Tweeted this in response to the post from brilliant author/former teacher @LynMullalyHunt (NY Times Bestselling FISH IN A TREE, ONE FOR THE MURPHYS) that wished us a happy Teacher Appreciation Week: Feeling like a ghost school librarian. Like I am unsure of whether or not the students are getting anything out of what I am offering them remotely. I am really fed by the wonder and curiosity of students, and I know many teachers feel the same. Sometime it's hard to feel that through Zoom, especially from the students that I know are NOT readers, really (like me, honestly, until I was about 25. For real). Library in our school is a "Special," and while I am WILDLY grateful that our school finds the library a relevant component to K-12 education and even MORE wildly grateful that they employ a licensed librarian in their library, being a Special (in the world of remote learning) translates to being an Optional part of students' day (for me, anyway). I give no...

Every weekday since my school closed, we've had to check in online by filling out this Google form. Today is day 29 of remote learning, and every one of those days, I've been able to click "Healthy." This is very high on the list of things that I take for granted.

One of our school counselors is sending me beautiful library-themed affirmations every day of National Library Week (thanks, Kirsten!). This one I thought was brilliant. When I was working toward my MLIS (received in December of 2018), there were so many important conversations that were fascinating to engage in. We talked about tech and how it's making libraries evolve and redefine and re-evaluate. We talked about the inequities of access to information, among all communities, all over the world. But I think that one of the most intriguing conversations that I remember for me was around the idea that people/patrons have the right to information that is FALSE as much as they have the right to information that is TRUE. At first that sounds really weird. But what we were talking about, essentially, was interpretation. And context and how someone's environment and lifestyle and experience influences the information that they are engaging with. We talked about how it...

Camped in our living room And in Lovell Canyon over spring break Marshmallows and candles Peppermint chocolate bars I hugged and squeezed the Nuggets hard Groping for lost time Hefting up steep and uncertain pebbles Eating chicken sausage dogs And dancing fireside to Love Songs

I have a big and beautiful aquarium in my school library (where I am the librarian). Since the school closed, the fish (five little tetras of some kind, I think they are) have been hanging out in there alone, and the maintenance staff has been graciously feeding them for me every week.  Today I was feeling like it was probably a nuisance for the staff to have to take on that responsibility - they are holding down the fort at the school during all of this. So, this morning I called and said I'd come over and pick up the fish and take them home, if that was cool. It was cool, and now I have five fish in my house. I've NEVER had fish in my house. Not when I was growing up, not as an adult. I really don't know what I am doing. In fact, last year was the first year that the aquarian was brought into the library, and through the course of the year, I think that over a dozen fish died because it turns out I am a terrible fish mother! Too much food, perhaps, or maybe when one f...

One of my best divorced mom friends I met four years ago at the amazing divorce support group on Monday nights from 7:00-9:00pm (rain or shine) at the Lutheran church on Sandhill and Trop. If you are struggling through any stage of a divorce you should check it out once we can go back outside and into the world. Kary has been a public school teacher in Clark County for over 20 years. She is one of the most independent, kind, and generous people, and one of the most creative and talented artists I have ever met. For the past three-and-a half years or so, we have been getting together to write and have wine and food, and talk about everything. We use the method from Pat Schneider's guide Writing Alone and with Others . To sum up: -we get a prompt or two to get us started thinking -set a timer for eight minutes and then each write independently -we read aloud to each other what we wrote down -after each of us reads, the other one tells the writer what they noticed and reme...

 Social distancing at its best at Lee Canyon .

First home hair cut.

Just missing the library right now. On March 13, when all faculty were called into school to take home essential items before the official campus closure, I walked into my office (our small school library) and wrote this poem: Corona the books became old friends again had always been there holding me into my seat buckling me in for safety always there watching me fail overdirect students or underdirect suggest a title that didn't fit her personality that didn't pique his doing it all wrong after 10 years of teaching students 18 years of teaching, period spines watching me fail while urging me to keep moving momentum of the plot reminding me to mine my shortcomings nudging me to open open open and remember I'm a story too with rough edges and imperfections a character's hates another's true love you do this you wake up and you're a story being watching and nurtured read spines sending you the nerve to keep at it until she takes ...